Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
training day
anyone who knows me well knows that i have a love-hate relationship with exercise (although i suppose one could argue: don't we all?). my ambivalence on this issue manifests itself in a few different ways, but none have been so pronounced in the last few months as my on-again-off-again triathlon debate.
fortunately for me (and my expanding, sagging, 30 year-old backside), fate stepped in quite definitively a few weeks ago... like it or not i'm doing the chicago triathlon because, well, i got off the waitlist and it seems like the right thing to do.
there are, of course, positive and negative aspects of this development and its ongoing impact on my life. they are as follows:
pro: overwhelmingly enthusiastic show of support by my more triathlon-gifted friends (namely my blogmate, ck, and bikemyers)
con: overwhelming guilt at the sad reality that i will most likely have a heart attack on race day (probably before i even get in the water), thus disappointing my awesome fan club
con: overwhelming sense that i'm not a good swimmer, cyclist, or runner
pro: overwhelming sense that it might not actually matter
pro: lots of fun new toys
con: credit card bill for fun new toys
con: ravenously hungry all the time
pro: eating all the time
pro: abundance of cute boys on the lakefront path
con: thinking about how i must look, sweating like a pig on the lakefront path
con: apartment a mess, tons of laundry, bike tire tread marks on the walls, sand and bicycle grease everywhere, entire contents of lake michigan in my bathtub
pro: complete absence of guilt about apartment being a mess, tons of laundry, bike tire tread marks on the walls, sand and bicycle grease everywhere, entire contents of lake michigan in my bathtub
con: drunk after one beer
pro: drunk after one beer
so i guess it all evens out in the end. see you at the finish line.
fortunately for me (and my expanding, sagging, 30 year-old backside), fate stepped in quite definitively a few weeks ago... like it or not i'm doing the chicago triathlon because, well, i got off the waitlist and it seems like the right thing to do.
there are, of course, positive and negative aspects of this development and its ongoing impact on my life. they are as follows:
pro: overwhelmingly enthusiastic show of support by my more triathlon-gifted friends (namely my blogmate, ck, and bikemyers)
con: overwhelming guilt at the sad reality that i will most likely have a heart attack on race day (probably before i even get in the water), thus disappointing my awesome fan club
con: overwhelming sense that i'm not a good swimmer, cyclist, or runner
pro: overwhelming sense that it might not actually matter
pro: lots of fun new toys
con: credit card bill for fun new toys
con: ravenously hungry all the time
pro: eating all the time
pro: abundance of cute boys on the lakefront path
con: thinking about how i must look, sweating like a pig on the lakefront path
con: apartment a mess, tons of laundry, bike tire tread marks on the walls, sand and bicycle grease everywhere, entire contents of lake michigan in my bathtub
pro: complete absence of guilt about apartment being a mess, tons of laundry, bike tire tread marks on the walls, sand and bicycle grease everywhere, entire contents of lake michigan in my bathtub
con: drunk after one beer
pro: drunk after one beer
so i guess it all evens out in the end. see you at the finish line.
Monday, July 23, 2007
race report
mb and i have a fundamentally different take on many things. for example, i showed him a layout for programs for our upcoming wedding which i thought was cute and funny, featuring a different picture of ourselves or our family members as small children on the fronts of them - not only did he dislike them, but he objected to pictures of his small face smeared with cake. (claims it's "objectifying." i claim he's never been objectified, if that's what he thinks. really? women-as-sex-objects is the same as small-children-as-cake-magnets?)
so it should be no surprise that while awaiting the start of a triathlon in racine this weekend, that i look at big pointy sharp-toothed waves in lake michigan and my stomach turns circles, while mb stretches his arms out smiling, and says "this is so relaxing! look at the water; it's beautiful! i'm so glad the swim is a MILLION TIMES LONGER than other races this distance because it'll be so much FUN! this is so relaxing! i'm totally not stressed out." (ok, not a million times longer... but 750m vs 500m matters to slow swimmers when i think the waves could eat small objectified children for breakfast.)
the race itself went fine, actually. i summarize as follows:
1. swim: 750m in lake michigan. mb out of the water 3-4 minutes faster than his nearest competitor. i swallow much of lake michigan making it shallower and much easier for all who come after me.
1.5 transition 1 (swim-bike): run up the beach thru sand, not a short distance. mb RUNS through the foot-washing buckets entering the bike area. i try not to fall just getting up the sand, but am happy because my new watch (thanks, boston!) tells me that i have not, as i had feared, been in the water for over an hour, but more like 22 minutes, and they will not be closing the course before i ever find my bike.
2. bike: 12.4 miles on flat drag-strip suburban racine roads. mb curious about why he's not passing anyone (answer: nobody in front of him). i settle into my usual triathlon bike position, which is neck-and-neck with some 50-some-year-old man doing a relay, and spend the rest of the bike either being passed by him or passing him or trying to avoid or accomplish one of those tasks. this has happened to me before, but last time the 50-year-old was funny and trash-talking: "why would you pass an old man like that?" this guy is not funny, despite my trying to say something friendly... on the bright side, last time the guy was trash talking it egged me on to go faster than i was capable, and i spent the whole run wanting to vomit.
2.5 transition 2 (bike-run): mb - still not passed by anyone. me - uneventful, spending the whole time reciting my inspirational triathlon mantra: "don't vomit don't vomit don't vomit."
3 run: mb passed at very end by one guy, takes 2nd in his age group, 13th overall. me - no vomiting, admiring the scenery as the run path follows a course along a hill overlooking a very peaceful-looking lake michigan, but angry that from that height and distance nobody can tell about the sharp toothed waves that almost ate me earlier.
overall a fun weekend, perfect weather, plus we got to cheer on mb's brother in his repeat performance at the half-ironman the next day (1.2 mile swim, 60 mile bike, 13.1 mile run). although i refuse to concede about the objectifying-baby-picture thing (and in fact, i have been gleefuly exaggerating my response, announcing at regular intervals that mb is an ogre who hates babies, ponies, puppies, butterflies, ice cream cones, and everything good and pure in this world), i concede to mb that lake michigan will not eat me. i might even do it again next year. who's coming with me?
so it should be no surprise that while awaiting the start of a triathlon in racine this weekend, that i look at big pointy sharp-toothed waves in lake michigan and my stomach turns circles, while mb stretches his arms out smiling, and says "this is so relaxing! look at the water; it's beautiful! i'm so glad the swim is a MILLION TIMES LONGER than other races this distance because it'll be so much FUN! this is so relaxing! i'm totally not stressed out." (ok, not a million times longer... but 750m vs 500m matters to slow swimmers when i think the waves could eat small objectified children for breakfast.)
the race itself went fine, actually. i summarize as follows:
1. swim: 750m in lake michigan. mb out of the water 3-4 minutes faster than his nearest competitor. i swallow much of lake michigan making it shallower and much easier for all who come after me.
1.5 transition 1 (swim-bike): run up the beach thru sand, not a short distance. mb RUNS through the foot-washing buckets entering the bike area. i try not to fall just getting up the sand, but am happy because my new watch (thanks, boston!) tells me that i have not, as i had feared, been in the water for over an hour, but more like 22 minutes, and they will not be closing the course before i ever find my bike.
2. bike: 12.4 miles on flat drag-strip suburban racine roads. mb curious about why he's not passing anyone (answer: nobody in front of him). i settle into my usual triathlon bike position, which is neck-and-neck with some 50-some-year-old man doing a relay, and spend the rest of the bike either being passed by him or passing him or trying to avoid or accomplish one of those tasks. this has happened to me before, but last time the 50-year-old was funny and trash-talking: "why would you pass an old man like that?" this guy is not funny, despite my trying to say something friendly... on the bright side, last time the guy was trash talking it egged me on to go faster than i was capable, and i spent the whole run wanting to vomit.
2.5 transition 2 (bike-run): mb - still not passed by anyone. me - uneventful, spending the whole time reciting my inspirational triathlon mantra: "don't vomit don't vomit don't vomit."
3 run: mb passed at very end by one guy, takes 2nd in his age group, 13th overall. me - no vomiting, admiring the scenery as the run path follows a course along a hill overlooking a very peaceful-looking lake michigan, but angry that from that height and distance nobody can tell about the sharp toothed waves that almost ate me earlier.
overall a fun weekend, perfect weather, plus we got to cheer on mb's brother in his repeat performance at the half-ironman the next day (1.2 mile swim, 60 mile bike, 13.1 mile run). although i refuse to concede about the objectifying-baby-picture thing (and in fact, i have been gleefuly exaggerating my response, announcing at regular intervals that mb is an ogre who hates babies, ponies, puppies, butterflies, ice cream cones, and everything good and pure in this world), i concede to mb that lake michigan will not eat me. i might even do it again next year. who's coming with me?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
the empire strikes back
i'm going to have to abandon the notion that nothing ever happens to me.
it all started a couple of weeks ago on a fine tuesday afternoon during which things at work were unusually quiet and i got to leave work early.
"awesome," i thought to myself, "time to run an errand in hyde park before heading home."
the errand was, unsurprisingly, unsuccessful, as tati cycles turned out to be closed for the entire month of june so that the owner could recover from the physical and emotional burden of too many back-ordered bikes. [to her credit, my good blogmate tried to warn me that i should probably call ahead, but did i listen? of course not.]
you might wonder why this part of the story is relevant (i suppose it's not), but had it not been for the fateful deviation to the bike shop i probably would have made it safely back to lakeview sans the ensuing chaos.
as i drove out of hyde park the sky grew darker, the thunder louder, and the lightening brighter, and pretty soon i found myself working my way up lakeshore drive under torrential downpour. by the time i made it to the s-curve conditions were downright apocalyptic and LSD was unequivocally flooded. as i proceeded north it quickly became clear that all the west-bound exits that ran under LSD were impassable, as evidenced by the stalled out cars, roof-deep in rainwater.
just as i was beginning to wonder if i was going all the way to milwaukee, i found what looked like a reasonable off-ramp, several exits further than i wanted to go... which, in fact, was also flooded. so i turned the car onto what i thought was the on-ramp back to LSD, resulting in the following frantic cell phone call to my good blogmate:
jo-na (reading the caller ID): "hi jo-na, what's up?"
jo-na (panic in her voice): "um, i seem to be driving my car up the lakeshore bike path."
jo-na: "the what?"
jo-na: "the bikepath! what do i do?"
jo-na: "let me get on google earth and figure it out"
with some moral and web-based support i found my way off the bike path, under LSD, and finally to clark and foster from which i was able to get home... i didn't have a new bike, but i was home safe and dry.
fast forward to a few weekends later when i finally managed to procure said bicycle with the gracious assistance of the bikemyers family. the bike purchase happened in a frenzy of retail therapy during which i also acquired a new TV, a big CD storage shelving unit, and the misplaced urge to engage in some limited home improvement.
to my surprise i was able to assemble the new bike storage rack without incident... if only the rest of it had gone as smoothly.
i got the CD storage solution up and running (with some help from ss) and had it all loaded up with CDs before i realized that i'd gone about the organization scheme all wrong, so i sat down at the foot of it and got to work. it turned out that i had the whole thing sitting a little too close to the wall, such that it was precariously balanced on the lip of the baseboard. i looked up just in time to see quite clearly that my newly erected media empire was inevitably going to come toppling down on my head, and managed to stick my arm up in such a way that while all the CDs came crashing i didn't actually get completely whacked in the face by storage solution. i also managed to contort my neck in a funny way such by the next morning i couldn't really rotate my head or drink diet coke out a of can without a straw.
the next day, with the CDs and bikes all in proper position i moved on to some minor electrical work. the bathroom light switch was getting a little testy and i had one of those ill-fated, "how hard can it be?" moments where i decided that surely i could unscrew the broken part and take it to the home depot for replacing. i don't know if was feeling invincible after my adventures in the rain, or if i sustained a minor concussion when the media empire fell on my head, but it didn't occur to me that perhaps it might be a good idea shut of the power to the light switch before sticking a screw driver into it. the minor electrocution transiently made my neck feel better, but when my teeth stopped chattering i looked up to realize that i'd blown out the electricity in the whole apartment, thus deprogramming all my electronic gadgets, including my new TV.
what's that they say about idle hands?
from these events i conclude:
1) my life isn't nearly as boring as i think it is
and
2) i am an idiot
it all started a couple of weeks ago on a fine tuesday afternoon during which things at work were unusually quiet and i got to leave work early.
"awesome," i thought to myself, "time to run an errand in hyde park before heading home."
the errand was, unsurprisingly, unsuccessful, as tati cycles turned out to be closed for the entire month of june so that the owner could recover from the physical and emotional burden of too many back-ordered bikes. [to her credit, my good blogmate tried to warn me that i should probably call ahead, but did i listen? of course not.]
you might wonder why this part of the story is relevant (i suppose it's not), but had it not been for the fateful deviation to the bike shop i probably would have made it safely back to lakeview sans the ensuing chaos.
as i drove out of hyde park the sky grew darker, the thunder louder, and the lightening brighter, and pretty soon i found myself working my way up lakeshore drive under torrential downpour. by the time i made it to the s-curve conditions were downright apocalyptic and LSD was unequivocally flooded. as i proceeded north it quickly became clear that all the west-bound exits that ran under LSD were impassable, as evidenced by the stalled out cars, roof-deep in rainwater.
just as i was beginning to wonder if i was going all the way to milwaukee, i found what looked like a reasonable off-ramp, several exits further than i wanted to go... which, in fact, was also flooded. so i turned the car onto what i thought was the on-ramp back to LSD, resulting in the following frantic cell phone call to my good blogmate:
jo-na (reading the caller ID): "hi jo-na, what's up?"
jo-na (panic in her voice): "um, i seem to be driving my car up the lakeshore bike path."
jo-na: "the what?"
jo-na: "the bikepath! what do i do?"
jo-na: "let me get on google earth and figure it out"
with some moral and web-based support i found my way off the bike path, under LSD, and finally to clark and foster from which i was able to get home... i didn't have a new bike, but i was home safe and dry.
fast forward to a few weekends later when i finally managed to procure said bicycle with the gracious assistance of the bikemyers family. the bike purchase happened in a frenzy of retail therapy during which i also acquired a new TV, a big CD storage shelving unit, and the misplaced urge to engage in some limited home improvement.
to my surprise i was able to assemble the new bike storage rack without incident... if only the rest of it had gone as smoothly.
i got the CD storage solution up and running (with some help from ss) and had it all loaded up with CDs before i realized that i'd gone about the organization scheme all wrong, so i sat down at the foot of it and got to work. it turned out that i had the whole thing sitting a little too close to the wall, such that it was precariously balanced on the lip of the baseboard. i looked up just in time to see quite clearly that my newly erected media empire was inevitably going to come toppling down on my head, and managed to stick my arm up in such a way that while all the CDs came crashing i didn't actually get completely whacked in the face by storage solution. i also managed to contort my neck in a funny way such by the next morning i couldn't really rotate my head or drink diet coke out a of can without a straw.
the next day, with the CDs and bikes all in proper position i moved on to some minor electrical work. the bathroom light switch was getting a little testy and i had one of those ill-fated, "how hard can it be?" moments where i decided that surely i could unscrew the broken part and take it to the home depot for replacing. i don't know if was feeling invincible after my adventures in the rain, or if i sustained a minor concussion when the media empire fell on my head, but it didn't occur to me that perhaps it might be a good idea shut of the power to the light switch before sticking a screw driver into it. the minor electrocution transiently made my neck feel better, but when my teeth stopped chattering i looked up to realize that i'd blown out the electricity in the whole apartment, thus deprogramming all my electronic gadgets, including my new TV.
what's that they say about idle hands?
from these events i conclude:
1) my life isn't nearly as boring as i think it is
and
2) i am an idiot
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