identity

as i continue to enjoy a satisfying, if not silly e-relationship with someone who i hope will became my next conquest in the online dating game (should we ever be able to coordinate schedules and go out on a second date), i continue to ponder the way information is shared and misinterpreted in this day and age.

one of my big gripes with the internet dating scene has always been that seemingly anyone can perpetuate the illusion of being funny, charismatic and well-adjusted, given enough time and help from dictionary.com. that's not entirely true - i'm constantly impressed at how many creepy, inarticulate and/or error-laden messages i receive. but it may well be that even those people have managed to incrementally improve their images by putting their misguided, maladjusted thoughts on paper. the point is, we're all able to up the ante a little while under the protective cloak of digital communication. if you don't believe me come buy me a beer and you'll find out that i'm substantially less articulate in person than i am on this blog.

the pitfalls, i'm sure you all know, are numerous. messages that we thought were funny, coy, or sarcastic are often received as being snide, cryptic, or just plain mean. and then of course there's the whole problem of accidental recipients. a word of advice, my friends: after you stop seeing someone, no matter how amicable the separation, take him off your phone contact list that very minute, before you have a chance to do something stupid or careless, like, say, inadavertently send him a "happy thanksgiving from the alamo" text message. also, no matter how annoying you think cutesy IM symbols are, the occasional, strategically placed smiley face goes a long way.

perhaps the reason that i hold out some hope for the boy-du-jour is that we seem to have similar thresholds for e-cynicism. it's nice when your sarcasm is well received, especially when you're giving up some of your best material.

if this seems contrived and icky to you may i suggest that we're not really doing so much better when we're up close and personal. my blogmate and i look alike to the extent that we are both tall, brown-haired, white girls, but i really think the physical similarities end there. and while we have the same job, so do 5 other people in our office. i understand that to many of our coworkers we really are interchangeable, but you'd think after a year and half we'd at least be recognizable as two separate people. this argument seems to be lost on our secretary, who continues to page one of us looking for the other, puts our mail in the other's box, and today had this conversation with me.

me: hi, it's jo-na.
secretary: hi jo-na. what can i do for you?
me: you paged me, i'm returning your call.
secretary: why did i call you?
me: i think you wanted to talk about the meal vouchers.
secretary: oh, i talked to jo-na already, she told me what you need.
me: but i'm jo-na.
secretary: oh.
me: did you talk to my blogmate?
secretary: probably.

live or across a screen, we're all just data points.