like fine wine

i hope i get funnier with age. you'll all be rolling on your high-tech floors-of-the-future at my incredibly sharpened blog-wit, if only i age like the relatives mb and i saw this weekend.

we spent the weekend in sunny milwaukee being very good people by visiting our grandparents that we won't see over the holiday. i don't know which visit was more entertaining: mb's grandmother's tirade about how she can't stand playing cards with the others in her building anymore because they keep falling asleep mid-hand, coupled with a misguided attempt to change the cable-tv-music-station away from classic country in favor of something the kids were into nowadays (resulting in a very awkward five minutes of listening to megadeth with grandma)? or my grandfather's proud stories of getting the good gimbel's suits for $15 by befriending the german-immigrant buyer and, in a stylish holiday first, introducing mb into the family tradition of bestowing upon unwitting visitors the results of said bargain shopping? i especially loved the size-up mb got once grandpa realized there was another male to become a recipient of his stores and stores of tj maxx bargain hunting. "what size? no, i know. wait." slow pan up, slow down, then disappearing into the closet. if mb were female i think he could sue for harrassment for that ogling.

our older relatives all get to have their quirks, and we all smile and laugh about it. i can't wait. when i'm older, i want the following eccentricities:

1) long rambling pointless stories
2) a wordless single-eyebrow raise when i think people are full of it and am unable to suppress my sarcasm
3) undying love for the same sweater or pants over and over again regardless of how repetitive or how style-less
4) insistence on buying loads of cheap stuff at marshall's and tj maxx, then wondering why i have such a full closet and still nothing to wear

hmm. guess i don't have to wait for my aarp card, then.