race report

mb and i have a fundamentally different take on many things. for example, i showed him a layout for programs for our upcoming wedding which i thought was cute and funny, featuring a different picture of ourselves or our family members as small children on the fronts of them - not only did he dislike them, but he objected to pictures of his small face smeared with cake. (claims it's "objectifying." i claim he's never been objectified, if that's what he thinks. really? women-as-sex-objects is the same as small-children-as-cake-magnets?)

so it should be no surprise that while awaiting the start of a triathlon in racine this weekend, that i look at big pointy sharp-toothed waves in lake michigan and my stomach turns circles, while mb stretches his arms out smiling, and says "this is so relaxing! look at the water; it's beautiful! i'm so glad the swim is a MILLION TIMES LONGER than other races this distance because it'll be so much FUN! this is so relaxing! i'm totally not stressed out." (ok, not a million times longer... but 750m vs 500m matters to slow swimmers when i think the waves could eat small objectified children for breakfast.)

the race itself went fine, actually. i summarize as follows:

1. swim: 750m in lake michigan. mb out of the water 3-4 minutes faster than his nearest competitor. i swallow much of lake michigan making it shallower and much easier for all who come after me.

1.5 transition 1 (swim-bike): run up the beach thru sand, not a short distance. mb RUNS through the foot-washing buckets entering the bike area. i try not to fall just getting up the sand, but am happy because my new watch (thanks, boston!) tells me that i have not, as i had feared, been in the water for over an hour, but more like 22 minutes, and they will not be closing the course before i ever find my bike.

2. bike: 12.4 miles on flat drag-strip suburban racine roads. mb curious about why he's not passing anyone (answer: nobody in front of him). i settle into my usual triathlon bike position, which is neck-and-neck with some 50-some-year-old man doing a relay, and spend the rest of the bike either being passed by him or passing him or trying to avoid or accomplish one of those tasks. this has happened to me before, but last time the 50-year-old was funny and trash-talking: "why would you pass an old man like that?" this guy is not funny, despite my trying to say something friendly... on the bright side, last time the guy was trash talking it egged me on to go faster than i was capable, and i spent the whole run wanting to vomit.

2.5 transition 2 (bike-run): mb - still not passed by anyone. me - uneventful, spending the whole time reciting my inspirational triathlon mantra: "don't vomit don't vomit don't vomit."

3 run: mb passed at very end by one guy, takes 2nd in his age group, 13th overall. me - no vomiting, admiring the scenery as the run path follows a course along a hill overlooking a very peaceful-looking lake michigan, but angry that from that height and distance nobody can tell about the sharp toothed waves that almost ate me earlier.


overall a fun weekend, perfect weather, plus we got to cheer on mb's brother in his repeat performance at the half-ironman the next day (1.2 mile swim, 60 mile bike, 13.1 mile run). although i refuse to concede about the objectifying-baby-picture thing (and in fact, i have been gleefuly exaggerating my response, announcing at regular intervals that mb is an ogre who hates babies, ponies, puppies, butterflies, ice cream cones, and everything good and pure in this world), i concede to mb that lake michigan will not eat me. i might even do it again next year. who's coming with me?