send in the

clowns.

this is a subject which has come up briefly before in this blog, but as most people do not work with clowns on a regular basis, i think it bears further discussion.

we have a clown troupe that comes through regularly to entertain children (and staff), and every time they come through i feel a little confused. how is one supposed to feel when seeing clowns? the professional part of me feels a little warm and fuzzy that we're child friendly enough to provide such entertainment. the child part of me is a little distressed, because i want the clowns to be a little more colorful, maybe all piling out of a small car or wearing rainbow wigs or something. these are more down-to-earth punk-looking clowns who just happen to have red noses. think pseudo-professional hobo clowns. the post-gen-x part of me likes the punkness of the clowns. the cynical part of me likes the fact that they help everyone take their jobs less seriously. the insecure part of me wants to talk to the clowns but can't because i worry i'm not funny enough for them. the schoolgirl part of me loooooooves that my blogmate has a crush on one of the clowns. it's even better than my college roommate who dated (in succession) a circus juggler who hit on her at the mall and a psychiatrist-trapeze artist who got exercise by wandering around the neighborhood on stilts. better than that, because although those situations were certainly unique, a crush on a work clown is like a crush on a minor tv personality, say, the restaurant guy that the mom is dating on gilmore girls. attractive, but no barometer for what he's really like. for all we know, restaurant guy and the cute clown are deviants or raging alcoholics or mama's boys (you pick which is worse). the psychiatrist-trapeze artist on stilts really was out there, but you could at least talk to the guy, even if it was "so... how are those stilts going for you? when is your next bungee-as-art performance?" how do you strike up a conversation with a clown? is it socially acceptable to just stare at his red nose, or is that offensive like women not wanting men to talk to our breasts? do you address him by his clown name? do you want to know his real name, or does it take away the magic if he's not "dr. dufus"? what does it do to your fantasies when they involve a guy named dr. dufus?

distressing.