foreplay

as a general rule i try to avoid work-related shop talk on the blog. if i have to talk about my job i try to generalize things as much as possible, maintaining the illusion to my audience (and mostly to myself) that i'm just like everyone else.

but screw that.

i've had some minor health problems in the last few weeks that have resulted in my having to share various bits of very personal information with various doctors, all of whom have turned out to be uncomfortably aged-matched male peers. if you're a single girl and you're a pediatrics resident, the absolute last person you want examining you is single, boy as your internal medicine resident, especially when you work at the same hospital as him. it's just weird.

when the nephrology fellow wanted to know when i'd last smoked marijuana and did i prefer sex with men, women or both, that was awkward, but at least the weirdness was blunted by his being dorky and married. today when i went for my kidney ultrasound i was especially horrified to discover that my test would not be done by the fat, middle-aged radiology tech i was expecting, but by a young trendy resident with cute shaggy hair who was, let's just say it, hot... and definitely not wearing a wedding ring. i would have been completely mortified by the situation if he hadn't been so obviously mortified. instead i decided to lay back and have a good internal laugh at the comical absurdity of the situation.

"so you didn't want to wear a, um, gown?"
"she said i didn't have to. do you want me to?"
"uh, i don't know. i guess this is fine."

excrutiating.

and this is all before he couldn't actually find my left kidney and needed to call in his boss, who proceeded to school him in front of me,
"i've told you before you need to set the internal edge definition to 2" (or some other piece of technical hoopla that i didn't understand).
by the time it was all over i was lying along on the stretcher, covered with ultrasound gel, feeling like i needed to smoke a cigarette.

all i can say is, you don't really know awkwardness until a cute radiology resident puts an ultrasound probe down your pants.