home for the holidays

so i feel a little bad about blogging at my family's expense. i get off so easy when it comes to family. they're great... and i invited them here.

but here's the backdrop:

my dad, grumpy, with his week-long, miserable bout of intractable hiccups

me, despondent, with my blown knee, hobbling around on crutches

my brother, groaning, wondering what he did to deserve this, trying to figure out how to have a phone conversation with his new, still under-the-radar girlfriend without my parents noticing.

at their absolute worst my parents are still very cool people and 98% of the time i walk around feeling very fortunate that i'm the progeny of relatively hip, open-minded, well-educated parents who rarely make me crazy.

except when they make me crazy.

mom (examining the various pride and prejudice interpretations i have on DVD): "where's the new one?"

me: "you mean the 2005 keira knightley version? it's in your hand."

dad: "[jo-na], when was this old version filmed?"

me: "i don't know dad"

mom: "no, not that one. the other new one."

me: "what?"

mom: "the one with gwyneth paltrow."

dad (holding the old, two-volume version): "how long is this one"

me (to mom): "you mean emma"

me (to dad): "i don't know dad, long."

mom: "yeah, that's it."

dad: "but where did you get this version? did you buy it?"

me (to dad): "it was a gift"

me (to mom): "that's not pride and prejudice mom, it's, um, emma."

dad: "when was this old version filmed?"

mom: "i thought it was pride and prejudice."

me (flustered): "but it's even called, 'emma,' "

mom: "what's the other one that's about emma."

me: "oh, clueless?"

mom: "yeah, clueless, that's the one i like."

dad: "how long is this one?"


boy am i glad that i stocked the bar before they got here.