disjoint

as usual, i emerge from a state of blog dormancy, not with any meaningful or clever insights, but with my usual smattering of reportings that are, i suspect, only amusing to me. neither of the funniest things that i heard about this week actually had anything to do with me, but were in fact left on my voicemail by good friend a.p., obstetrician extraordinaire. a.p. recently left her life of indentured servitude at a large, inner-city public hospital for one catering more to posh washington d.c. suburbanites... or so she thought until she had to fish a cockroach out of a pregnant lady's ear. in more posh, suburbanite fashion, a few days later she took her highly energetic and affectionate dog to the vet, who assessed her faithful companion's fondness for licking everything and everyone as undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder that would perhaps respond well to prozac.
i, for one, have only rare brushes with posh suburbanites, but those i have leave me so traumatized as to come running back to campus where i get to be the stylish one. so i may have lost out to the crazy ladies running around the coach outlet wielding $400 handbags as deadly weapons, but by golly i think i've got a leg up on the girl who parades around school everyday with an old gnarly beanie baby perched on her shoulder.
that said, i seem to have some problems with basic social norms, as i was completely unable to make eye contact with (much less greet) the "distinguished visiting lecturer" who i'd previously known as "the first blind date i ever went on." and i all but ran the other way when i saw one of my former supervising doctors at the swimming pool the other day (yes, old hairy, in swim trunks), lest i be forced to make small talk while standing there dripping wet in my swimsuit.
i can't even try to tie it all together, folks.