first of all: a grammar rant. now believe-you-me i'm not one to correct anyone's grammar or spelling. most of the finer (and not so subtle) points of grammar are lost on me, and i seriously can't spell (unlike some people we know...). however, there are a couple of egregious errors that really get my goat. the sentence ending with a preposition thing makes me crazy. i heard it in a song today (by an angsty alternarocker who clearly ought to know better- i'm sure he went to college somewhere like amherst or pomona)- "we've got so much to be thankful for." it just sounds bad! but the winningest offense has to be the flagrant misuse of quotation marks. you know what i'm talking about. "fresh" fish. 3-garment dry-cleaning "special." "please" label your sample. i'm willing to concede that there are certain figurative uses of quotation marks, but nowadays people seem to use them for "emphasis."
in other news, i now know the clown's name, but guess what- he still doesn't know (or care) who i am. i think i'm just not cool enough to get his attention. i suppose that my obsession with someone who doesn't know (or care) who i am is some kind of marker for my complete lack of prospect, but shouldn't he at least process that i'm unabashedly staring him down? it doesn't help that a woman very senior to me at work totally one-upped me today by doing this crazy high speed run down the hall ending in a no-holds-barred slide into first base kind of thing. i know for a fact that she has no designs on my clown, but he certainly looked impressed. i'm also little worried by the fact that sliding woman is actually my official career advisor. is deliberate (as opposed to my current inadvertent) making a fool of myself to impress a boy what i have to "aspire" to?
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Please excuse the delayed reaction (it takes things about 3 weeks to register with my brain). A label printed on my contact solution reads " "Do not put directly in eyes" " (Please note the inappropriate quotation marks surrounded by my grammatically sound ones.) I was thinking perhaps the contact solution company isn't satisfied with me simply reading the warning, but wants me to hear it booming in my head, as if it were spoken, or shouted in fact, from the animal testing labs at p&g. "DO NOT put directly in eyes, my child." That's the voice I hear in my head wenever I clean my contacts.
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